Actually, I Don't Know.

Did you ever have one of those moments when you are completely aware of how much you DON’T know about a particular subject… when you thought you knew a lot?

Maybe you were sitting at the board room table making a presentation that you prepared for tirelessly… and with one question from the audience – you’re set back. You realize that you don’t know nearly as much as you thought you did. Have you ever met that person who has made you reconsider what you know about a subject? I met that person recently. His name is cancer.

Let’s pause for a second. I don’t think this blog post is going to go where you may expect it to. “Live life to the fullest, you never know what second might be your last.” “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” While all of these sayings I believe in and fully endorse, I cannot say that this diagnosis, or any experience I’ve had has given me the credibility or reason to exclaim them. Now, I do not know what lies in the future, but at this moment, I will take deep breaths and remain fully optimistic.

On Monday, someone very close to me was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Lymphoma is a cancer that begins in the lymphatic cells of the immune system and presents as one or more solid tumors of lymphoid cells. Your lymph nodes are responsible for fighting infections. Life is so ironic.

It’s no secret that I teach Zumba classes (a fitness class). I teach this class in 4 different health and fitness centers. I have had health and wellness articles published in industry newsletters, online and distributed to many people. Sometimes I tweet information and advice and label them with the hash tag “health.” Until a few days ago, I was completely comfortable that I knew how to advise people on how to take care of their bodies. There’s so much more to this subject, that I … just don’t know.

How much do you need to know in order to know a lot? How much do you need to know in order to know the most? This is an opinion that many do not share with me, but I feel that acting as, and considering yourself an expert on a topic shuts you off from learning. I truly hope you never label yourself an “expert” unless you would prefer to know no more or unless you are playing Guitar Hero. There are perspectives everywhere. There are lessons and points of view. There are stories and examples. The smallest comment in the board room or the biggest medical diagnosis will always make its way to you. Being open to these instances and expecting the unexpected will only build your character.

The road ahead – for all of us – is and SHOULD BE filled with constant questioning and new experiences. It will be tough at times. And some situations will be unfamiliar and challenging. And frankly – I’m scared as hell. I know very little about what my family is about to experience and I’m not sure I’m ready. But I do know - that I WILL know - a little more at the end.  And, I will in the meantime do what I do best - continue with my constant optimism and jokes of poor taste.

Climb up over the top.
Survey the state of the soul.
You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying.
Why not give it a shot?
Shake it. Take control and inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you
- Jason Mraz